Reflection

Of all of the ocean's waves that have come ashore through all of the world's time, no two have been or will ever be the same.

Lessons in Nature

The Brown gull was clearly upset.  The White gull had done something prior to our witness to set Brown off.  White was wandering around, not really looking to escape, not looking like he really cared at all.  Yet Brown cared.  Brown cared deeply.  White was going to pay.  Brown cried at White, begging for satisfaction.  Brown even went as far as to try to pry White's beak open.  Yet White just wandered.  Brown followed.

This dance continued for at least 15 minutes.  Not really sure how the curtain finally closed on the dance routine but I'm fairly certain that White finally moved on. Brown continued alone for a bit before finally letting go.  Oh, the pain we cause ourselves by clinging and not letting go.  Just as big a lesson was the importance of being steady as a mountain and non-attaching.

Thank you Brown and White.  Brown, I hope you have found satisfaction and are resting peacefully.  And White, perhaps some compassion next time?

Quieting the Static

I recently completed building a tiny platform out of leftover pavers from prior projects in the wooded portion of the backyard.  I built it to use it as an outdoor meditation area; a place to give me a different experience in my practice.  I've used it twice this week to sit and for sure, it does present a different experience.

Inside, my space is in half of the room that also holds my home office, presenting a kind of serious juxtaposition within a room.  Although the concept of a room with two very different purposes has been useful in its own way.  My space in that room offers me a very peaceful and quiet place to sit and meditate.  My mind, noisy as usual, usually finds the ability to quiet down fairly well now.  The absence of most noise helps considerable.

My outdoor space presents quite a contrast.  I have never heard the local birds to make quite the sounds they do; almost tropical in nature.  Multiple landscapers are busy cutting local grass as they work to stay ahead of nature's desire to cover the earth with grass and plants.  Is Thursday a garbage pick up day in the neighborhood across the way?  Evidently, yes it is.  The drone of trucks as they fly down Route 206 in their effort to get to Point B.

And while my first reaction was noting how loud it is, I quickly realized that this cacophony is analogous to the constant noise in my mind.  Lets just sit with it and focus on the object of meditation (although I needed to select a different one as I could not hear my breath!).  Let go of all around us.  Calm the mind.  Don't attach to the constant static.

Let It Breath

Stockpiling firewood in the garage today for the eventual return of winter to our home, I found the wood under the tarp to be moist with dew.  Evidently, my thorough covering of the pile, from earth to earth on all four sides, caused dew to form and drip upon the split logs of future warmth.

My Dad had taught me back in the day, when I didn't appreciate the lesson, that you must cover just the top, otherwise, the woodpile will behave exactly as mine had.  Go figure.  Dad was right.  Again.  Always resistant to his teachings, I guess my mind did keep one ear open to his lessons, perhaps understanding that one day his wisdom would come in handy.  I continue to learn from him, finally listening all these days later.

Which got me to thinking.  What other teachings did I pick up from Dad?

His passion for gardening.  I will never be the gardener my Dad was but every time I'm planting the annual Bok Choy "crop" or the lettuce in the planters that will reap tender greens for a future lunch, my Dad is in my memory.  His passion for his garden was legendary.

His extreme love for the outdoors.  Not don't misunderstand.  He loved the outside but was not extreme.  No boarding the half pipe or sweating and bleeding through a triathlon.  Not him.  But he did like to walk, he did love to camp and he did wax up the old cross country skis at the mere hint of snow.  The guy just loved breathing in the fresh air of the out of doors.

His love for sports.  His love for competitive sports was infectious.  In his latter days, when the eyesight was poor at best, he could be found cuddled up closely to the TV screen, trying his best to not miss any of the action.  Fortunately for him, he did finally get to see his beloved Boston Red Sox win a World Series before he passed in 2006.

It is through my Dad that I learned the importance of loyalty.  He spent all of his career with one company but more importantly, he spent over 50 years with the love of his life, his wife, my Mom.  Such steadfast love, such devotion.

Thanks Dad.  You are always in my heart and mind.  I have only begun to consider how to live up to the example you have set, particularly, your love for helping others.  Like the cover of the wood pile, I need to let the process breath...

Tears

For those of you who have been following me for awhile, this one is a repeat.  While a few years old, its relevance is just as vital now.   Thanks for indulging me.


The fog settled heavy on the hills.  Clouds bursting with moisture hung like heavy pillows near the tree tops.  I looked up with envy as I drove my car around the bend in the highway.  Knowing where I was going but knowing where I belonged.  Life's distractions tend to overwhelm but once it's a pattern, you don't notice it anymore.  Until your own cloud bursts and the flood erodes the roots of life.

Got to get back out there, to smell the dirt and jump the rocks.  To open my mind in my hiking trance.  To be grooving along so fast, in such a meditative state, that I lose sense of time and being.  I float above the blazed path as the roots of life spread deeply in my emerging brain.  The rain falls in a steady cadence as my oblivion evolves into a simple understanding.

Free

The chanting was compelling; the soft drumming more so.  It was a beautiful sunny day, our first in Sedona for this, our bi-annual sojourn.  We had walked up from the upper parking lot at the Buddhist Stupa.  There were more prayer flags than I remember in the past.  Familiar small ragged ones amidst the newer large ones.

As we reached the Stupa, the light drumming and vocal chanting drew us is.  I can't say why, other than the similar emotion felt when I smudge with sage.  An automatic reaction to a positive stimulus.  As the three souls created this audible magic, my girl and I drew seats on the platform, directly behind them.  Eyes closed, I focused on my breath as I took in the wonder.

The monk dressed in traditional garb, had done this once or twice before.  Her following of the words in her tattered book were clearly from memory.  Like clockwork, she would stand, leave the platform, and approach the Stupa, where the intentions and prayers of millions were inside, radiating their good will to those around.  She offered symbolic gifts and rituals before returning to her seat to continue the ceremony.

Feeling lucky to be a close witness to this unveiling, we also fell penned in as the three on the platform were now positioned so our departure was difficult at best.  So we sat.  We sat as the monk poured a liquid into the others as well as her own hands.  They would then slurp it up and put the rest on their heads.  This was followed by an offering of what appeared to be a plate of cookies for each. Evidently, Buddha was a fan of Fig Newtons.

Sensing an opportunity, my girl and I both stood and slipped away past the unintended blockade.  We were free of the platform, yes, but we also felt a bit freer knowing that the community is praying for us all.  Stronger from the brief encounter, we moved forward with the medicine, hopeful we can help others as we have been helped.

Bless You

Hearing others around me sneeze typically evokes an offer of "God Bless You" or perhaps a less theistical "Bless You".  I do this despite my lack of believe in a God who listens and keeps a log as to whom should be blessed as a result.  I do it in the spirit of humanity.  Offerings of good blessings to all is something we should do for ourselves and those around us, whether friends, family or strangers.

Some who are very religious in the Christian faith, upon hearing a sneeze, do not offer these blessings.  Perhaps, given their deep devotion, the blessing is assumed.  Or, is it because those around them do not share their religious devotion and are therefore not deserving?  Or maybe they don't see the need for us on earth to work together to unite humanity since we have a supreme overseer?  Regardless, we should all be awake to the importance and presence of all of us in the world community without judgement.

Did I just judge?  Need to work on that.....

The Taunting

They sat there, taunting me with their silent awesomeness.  I had brought them out of storage for my girl to try on again, to see if they would offer her the comfort she seeks in a shoe.  They sat there on the floor for a couple of days and each time I saw them or walked past them, they spoke to me.  They told me the tales of the places they would go, the hikes and camping trips they would partake in.  They were practically screaming to me, causing great conflict.  Craving?  You bet.  They knew I could not resist.

Before long, two pairs of shoes with similar potential for greatness we're bounding across the country to be delivered to my doorstep.  They've now been here for three days, still housed in the outer box they were shipped in.  I've not yet set my eyes on them.  Will they live up to the greatness I've bestowed upon them?  Until I know otherwise, they absolutely will.

Tension

Tension is all throughout life.  People tend to see tension as a bad thing but if it is truly all around us, how can it be bad?  Should it not be something that we accept and learn from?  To build muscles, we must put them under tension.  A rubber band when engaged is under tension, keeping the contents below it in an organized state.  Without tension, music would be drab and dull.

Lately, I've been working to understand how to balance some of the aspects of my spiritual practice with life "outside" of my practice.  My Buddhist studies teach me to be calm and mindful.  These are good traits that have benefits throughout life.  But it also teaches me to not attach to things and to watch the sense doors, basically to not cling to arousal, to not crave and to be egoless.

To be strong as a man as well as to be fully effective in my work, I thrive on being alive in ways that are somewhat counter to the Buddhist teachings.  To remain physically healthy, I need to have a strong pulse.  To be passionate.  To be fully alive to sensation.  To desire.  To crave.  To be fully effective in work, I need to also be passionate.  Passionate about results.  Passionate about the individuals on my team, to help them grow and be personally successful while adding to the success of the company.

From a work standpoint, I have this conflict where I want to be calm and non attached but at the same time I need to be fully engaged and passionate.  The same is true in my relationship.  I love being fully awake, fully passionate and mindful of feeling.  It is possible to follow the practice while being fully awake and effective, I just need to understand the importance of having balance.

Focus on the breath.  Work on being calm and creating space to grow.  Be compassionate to others and share loving kindness.  Work to minimize desire and craving but understand that on a larger scale and not so much the day to day.   There is a lot of room for which to continue to practice and grow and to develop myself further in the nature of life.  But understand the tension is normal and learn to work with it.  There is no "outside" of the practice.  The practice is life.  Be one.  Understand the ebb and flow but remember that, while intricate with multiple layers, we are but one person. Find and hold that balance.

The Mindful Slip

Walking into my daughter's apartment, my bare soled shoes hit a patch of icy moisture left from shuttling our items from our car into her place on the cold winter night.  Feet sliding out from under me, I caught myself before I tumbled onto the floor.  This scene was repeated a few hours later upon our return from dinner.  I escaped unharmed again but learned that the combo of my shoes on her wet kitchen floor were a bad match.  Not seeing it coming, I blindly walked forward as though things would be as I expected them to be.

The day prior, I had woken in a bit of a down mode, but I cleared the haze by delving into my mediation practice, reading some inspirational pieces and then meditating.  That turned my morning around and left me with some positive direction for how to continue to drive myself and my practice forward.  Later, as the day progressed however, my mind started to slip as I became distracted with other issues.

From time to time we will hit a patch of ice and start to go into a fall.  We need to be able to catch ourselves when this happens but also, we should anticipate and knowledge that slips will occur.  When they do, we will be better prepared to not only catch ourselves but to learn faster and make the necessary adjustments to keep us on our feet.