Tension

Tension is all throughout life.  People tend to see tension as a bad thing but if it is truly all around us, how can it be bad?  Should it not be something that we accept and learn from?  To build muscles, we must put them under tension.  A rubber band when engaged is under tension, keeping the contents below it in an organized state.  Without tension, music would be drab and dull.

Lately, I've been working to understand how to balance some of the aspects of my spiritual practice with life "outside" of my practice.  My Buddhist studies teach me to be calm and mindful.  These are good traits that have benefits throughout life.  But it also teaches me to not attach to things and to watch the sense doors, basically to not cling to arousal, to not crave and to be egoless.

To be strong as a man as well as to be fully effective in my work, I thrive on being alive in ways that are somewhat counter to the Buddhist teachings.  To remain physically healthy, I need to have a strong pulse.  To be passionate.  To be fully alive to sensation.  To desire.  To crave.  To be fully effective in work, I need to also be passionate.  Passionate about results.  Passionate about the individuals on my team, to help them grow and be personally successful while adding to the success of the company.

From a work standpoint, I have this conflict where I want to be calm and non attached but at the same time I need to be fully engaged and passionate.  The same is true in my relationship.  I love being fully awake, fully passionate and mindful of feeling.  It is possible to follow the practice while being fully awake and effective, I just need to understand the importance of having balance.

Focus on the breath.  Work on being calm and creating space to grow.  Be compassionate to others and share loving kindness.  Work to minimize desire and craving but understand that on a larger scale and not so much the day to day.   There is a lot of room for which to continue to practice and grow and to develop myself further in the nature of life.  But understand the tension is normal and learn to work with it.  There is no "outside" of the practice.  The practice is life.  Be one.  Understand the ebb and flow but remember that, while intricate with multiple layers, we are but one person. Find and hold that balance.